It’s February: Check on Your Single Friends

“I never think of you as needing anything.” It was early February, and my friend was scratching his head, trying to figure out why I was teary over something fairly insignificant.

There is a point in the single woman’s life where she has to learn to do things–you know, plumb the water filter, get the car fixed, sort out the insurance, figure out how not to cry in church when the sweet family in front of you snuggles into their pew.

I guess I was getting pretty good at some of that. I have filtered water in my house, my insured car runs, and most Sundays, I can smile at you there with your arm around your husband and kids. I preach contentment to myself and others. I pray daily to recognize the hand of God in my life. I try to find ways to use my time and resources well.

But February breaks me a little, and I know I’m not the only one. If feels silly to even think about sometimes. The flowers don’t last, the chocolate is generally sub-par, and all my married friends roll their eyes about how overrated going out to dinner is. But there is still that thing about wanting to be wanted. I’ve written in past years about Valentine’s Envy. It’s real.

I’m not writing this to engender pity, but to remind us all that we need each other. In this Valentine’s season, check up on your single friends–the widows, the abandoned, the single moms, those caregiving for elderly parents, the ones who just suffered a break-up, the ones who haven’t had a date in a decade. They–we–need you to ask us to dinner, to deliver flowers, to send a text, to drop off sub-par chocolate.

More than that, though, we need to be reminded that “the love of God has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us” (Rom 5:5); that we “are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with the saints, and members of God’s household” (Eph 2.19); that “the peace of Christ, to which you/we were also called into one body, rule your/our hearts. And be thankful.” (Col. 3:15)


  1. Amen
    Continue to encourage each other with the love of God and prayer. Pray for each other. Ask your friends or even a stranger ” How can I pray for you today? I know someone with whom NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE”

    God bless you all


    • Tim Challies shared your post on his blog. I wholeheartedly agree! However, when I have tried this years ago, (I invited several of them for a nice meal) it was not well received…in fact you could say it bombed! I think it made them feel more singled out and emphasized the fact that they were single and it made my husband & I quite “gun shy.”


      • Hi Linda! So sorry to hear that. I’m single and Iove spending time with married couples. Keep pursuing us because I promise you there are those of us who would love that.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I’m sorry to hear that, Linda. Don’t give up! I agree with Jess–I would be nowhere without the families in my life! They love me well year-round and it is such a blessing!


  2. I think for us all,married, abandon, divorced, single, widowed. We all need this reminder that God’s love has been poured out on us.
    And we should spend time checking on friends. I have a text list and keep track of who and when I’ve checked on them.
    Valentines is a huge set up, cute for young kids with the little cards, but then there is always one who gets no cards.
    Even then it’s a set up for disappointment.
    You are such a treasure and I look forward to your teaching Wednesday at WoG.
    ❤❤❤❤ Deb P

    Liked by 1 person

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